“Yes! Yes! A million times yes!”  You’ve probably heard it a million times. The phrase has been a staple of optimists everywhere for centuries. But one million is a big number. This begs the question, what’s the smallest number of yes’s you can get away with using to still sound enthusiastic? I’m here find to out.

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“Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!” — This, too, is a classic. You can’t go wrong with a thousand. It seems to work well in rom-com proposals.

“Yes! Yes! 1.0 x 10 ³ times yes!” — Okay. So, there are ways to go wrong with a thousand. Scientific notation doesn’t work well when spoken. I advise against ever using it, even if more efficient.

“Yes! Yes! A hundred times yes!” — This can still be effective, but only if said with the right tone. This has a significant drop-off from a thousand times yes, but it’s still usable. I give it a 7.3 on the Apathy-Enthusiasm scale.

“Yes! Yes! Ninety-nine times yes!” — It’s interesting that this number seems more exciting than a hundred times yes. Perhaps I was wrong to assume linearity.

“Yes! Yes! Sixty-nine times yes!” — No! No! Infinity times no!

“Yes! Yes! Fifty times yes!” — This one works way better when fifty is pronounced “fitty.” Trust me, I’ve tested both out extensively.

“Yes! Yes! Ten times yes!” — We are nearing the end of what is acceptable. Some experts argue the cutoff is 25, but I’d disagree. This to me is still a grey area.

“Yes! Yes! Four times yes!” — We have reached ‘yes’ bedrock. I postulate anything below four will not work.

“Yes! Yes! π times yes!” — I stand corrected. Pi seems to work. Maybe it’s because the digits go on for infinity that is seems poignantly heartfelt.

“Yes! Yes! One time yes!” — This one works in no setting other than your girlfriend agreeing to anal.