I have been really into self-care recently, part of that is knowing your body, and part of knowing your body is knowing your scents. Recently I have noticed that I produce a wide variety of odors, many of them smelling like things that we love! I thought it would be a fun idea to walk you through some every day smells that come from my body:

Parmesan cheese: Mmmmm, nothing smells better than some Cacio e Pepe from Cucciolo Fine Italian Osteria. Sometimes after a long, hot day, I just cut my toenails after I take off my gym shoes to remind me of the high-class lifestyle

Pickled orange: A good chef knows balance is key to both the taste and aroma of food. Look no further than the crevice of my inner thigh and crotch after walking in jeans in 85-degree weather. The sour brininess of the sweat after a few minutes is nothing short of a citrusy, pickled snack

Pineapple candies from mid-tier sushi restaurant counters: If you enjoy eating imitation crab, avocado, and cucumber and calling yourself adventurous, then treating yourself with a special sucking candy that’s “from Japan,” just eat pineapple then pee. It makes it smell nice and sweet, not even joking about this one (works for taste too)

Broccoli cheddar soup: Panera is a staple for all Duke students who claim they are more productive at a cafe than in a library. Who doesn’t love getting a hot soup, and reading The Communist Manifesto? Farting brings me right there with all you grinders! Honestly no explanation, it just smells like that, even when I don’t eat broccoli or cheddar

Bruce Willis LR Cologne (surprisingly not called Sixth Scent): Yummy, yummy, yummy, I love 66-year-olds who still do action movies, but now they just crop out the parts where they run. Moreover, I love the way they smell. If you are anything like me, you can just force yourself to vomit. The 8 oz bottle of Bruce Willis LR Cologne that you drank earlier while looking into the mirror and saying “I’m the man” should come right back up. Don’t worry, it takes a lot more than stomach acid to get rid of the smell of the star of six Die Hard movies with drastically different plotlines

I guess what I am trying to say here guys is don’t be afraid of your natural scent. I always hear guys (and girls) talking about “deodorant” and “showers,” but no one appreciates the way we were meant to smell. #DontRepelTheSmell