One day, a duck named Terry walked into a corner store. He waddled up and down the narrow aisles, his floppy orange feet squelching with each step. Terry let out little quacks of delight when he saw something he liked and was always particularly fond of the canned tuna and Swedish fish. After a few minutes, the duck had gathered his items and walked towards the front of the store. He set the items down on the counter and looked up at the cashier, Jim, who he had seen many times before. Terry gave a sly grin, looked Jim right in the eyes and said, “Hey… just put it on my bill.”

“NO!!!” erupted Jim. “Who the FUCK do you think you are? You come in here every day and gather as much as you can hold under your stupid fucking wings just to tell me to put it on your bill?! Your bill is upwards of $500 and you haven’t paid a DIME! Also, you stand outside smoking cigarettes while asking people that pass by if they have any spare bread! It’s fucking weird, and you’re scaring the customers!”

“Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy… I thought we had an understanding. We had a good thing going here. Let’s choose our words carefully,” said Terry with an even, calm cadence.

Jim’s heart started to beat faster. “I - I’m not afraid of you, Terry. You may have the rest of this town scared shitless but not me. This ends today. I’m done.” 

Terry shook his head and sighed. He jumped across the counter and did some kind of duck attack… or something? I don’t know where he learned it, but it was a well rehearsed maneuver. Terry now had Jim in a tight chokehold and asked in a foreboding tone, “You ever hear about people around here that don’t do what I say?” Jim whimpered. “No. You don’t.” His beak was now almost pressed up against Jim’s ear. “You don’t hear about those people because they’re fucking dead. They’re cozied up with cinder blocks tied to their ankles at the bottom of the lake. The same lake where your wife and kids feed me bread every Sunday morning.”

Jim’s chest tightened and his breathing became even more strained. “Accidents happen every day, Jim. You and I both know your youngest isn’t the strongest swimmer. Of course a loving mother would always have a close watch on her children, but… We can all get distracted sometimes. I’ve always found it best to play it safe in these situations. Usually means less tears in the end.”

Terry released his grip and backed away, his feet still squelching with each step. “Now, what do you say? You think you could put this on my bill?”

Jim didn’t look at Terry. He rang up the items, and kept his gaze down on the ground. “You’re all set,” he said as a single tear streamed down the right side of his face. 

“Thanks buddy. Always knew I could count on you. I’ll see ya tomorrow,” Terry said as he waddled out the front door. Jim didn’t reply.